Have a look inside my brain!

No. Being in love is absolutely petrifying.

Just imagine, giving yourself to someone completely. Having someone know every little piece of who you are. The things you keep from everyone, even the secrets you rarely even admit to yourself.

Do you know how much courage something like that takes? Growing to trust someone more than you even trust yourself? Especially when you’re young. When you have so many years ahead of you where things could change. Where things could fall apart…

Frankly it’s dangerous. To some people it’s like asking to get hurt, and I’ve heard plenty of times that it’s not a good idea at my age. Hearing things like that from people can really mess you up too, it puts doubt where it wasn’t before and that’s never good.

The thing though about love, is that if you’re really IN it, the fear doesn’t matter. While it’s always there, you keep going. The fear of rejection can be paralyzing, but people that are really in love act. They don’t sit around just waiting for things to change and fall into place, they make it happen, and when things go bad (for however much time) they are the people who are willing to make it work. To try, try and try again till they know that there is nothing to try for. Point being, you don’t give up on something this important because you’re scared.

I’d like to think that everyone deserves to be happy. That everyone deserves to fall in love and be with the person that God meant for them to be with. More than anything I like to think that this does happen, to everyone. I’m aware it doesn’t, but thinking of all the loneliness in the world breaks my hopeless romantic heart. The thing that saves me, is that it could still happen to anybody. It’s happening to me, why not to you to?

One day in my social psychology class my professor said that unrealistic optimism is on the rise. Maybe this is what I am, just another person falling into that psychological trend. Maybe things in my life will fall apart, while it’s a terrible thing to think about I do not know the future.

What I do know though is what is going on right now. I know the present. In the present, I am in love. Head over heels, floating on cloud nine, butterflies living permanently in my stomach. I’m experiencing every cliche in the book. I also know, that at this point in time I can picture the rest of my life with the person I’m in love with. In fact, I cannot picture my life without him. He means everything to me, and he’s on my mind every second. Probably because everything reminds me of him in one way or another.

I’ve never been as happy in my life as I have been in our time together. I know that’s a fact without a doubt in my mind. I am fully prepared to expect some roadblocks, or speedbumps or whatever metaphorical thing appears on the metaphorical road of our life together, and I hope, pray, that you’ll be willing to face them with me.

You’ll always be my thunder. I love you J. 5/10/10.